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You Will Drop Your Baby
At some point, you will drop your baby on its head - and that's not a failure of parenting, it's a lesson in accepting imperfection.
The Nevertheless Technique
Making your child feel heard doesn't mean giving them what they want - it means acknowledging their input before holding your ground.
Great for Thanksgiving at Forty
When your child thinks their world is ending, help them time-travel to the version of themselves who'll laugh about this over turkey.
Why Didn't You Tell Me?
The cruelest thing you can do to someone you care about is protect them from feedback they need to hear.
The Unbearable Six Seconds
Want your child to actually tell you what's wrong? Ask your question, then close your mouth and count to six.
It's Not Mean, It's Clear
A stranger on the street taught Kim Scott more about parenting in one sentence than most books: 'It's not mean. It's clear.'
Driving the Getaway Car
You're not causing your child's meltdowns - but you might be driving the getaway car.
The Spelling Test on the Fridge
When we stick the A+ on the fridge, we're proud - but we might accidentally be saying love is conditional on achievement.
The Unsorted Baggage
Bruce Springsteen spent 25 years in therapy because he knew: if you don't sort your childhood baggage, your kids will pay the price.
Stay in the Problem Space
Before you buy a new high chair, ask yourself: is this actually a high chair problem?
What Happened Next?
'How was your day?' gets you 'Fine.' 'Tell me about lunch - who did you sit with?' gets you a story.
Watch What They Do
Your child says they love broccoli. Your child has never actually eaten broccoli. One of these is data.
You Are an Imposter (That's Normal)
The first years of parenting feel like being thrown into a job you never applied for - because that's exactly what it is.
Name the Problem, Not the Fix
When your child is struggling, the words 'why don't you just...' are almost always wrong.
First Observe Yourself
Want to understand why your toddler melts down every evening? Start by noticing what happens to you at 5pm.
The Pinch Before the Crunch
That tiny thing your kid does that barely bothers you? Address it now, or watch it become the thing that makes you lose your mind at 6pm on a Tuesday.
What Did You Hear Me Say?
When your child reacts like you just insulted their entire existence, try this: 'What did you hear me say?'
Anger Is the Bodyguard
When your child is angry, don't fight the anger - look for what it's protecting.
Fear Is Lying to You
That terrifying scenario you're imagining about your child? Fear is almost certainly giving you bad advice.
Anger Isn't What You Think It Is
Your anger at your child isn't really anger - it's pain wearing a disguise.
Make Them Feel Heard (Really Heard)
Repeating back what your kid said is good. Reflecting back the thoughts they were too scared to say? That's magic.
The Confidant
In French, a confidant isn't someone who holds your secrets - it's someone who gives you confidence.
The Anxiety Equation
Your child's anxiety isn't random - it's math. And you can actually solve it.
Fast and Focused Meets Big Picture
Your toddler's brain is fast and focused. Your job is to connect the dots.
Explore, Don't Lecture
When your kid comes to you with a problem, resist the urge to teach - explore instead.
Stability Through Ritual
When everything feels chaotic with your toddler, rituals aren't constraints - they're anchors.
Be a Force for Positive Momentum
When your child is stuck, your job isn't to solve the problem - it's to restore forward motion.
Quality Is Meeting Spec
Perfectionist parenting isn't high standards - it's hiding.
Be the Best Barista
There's no perfect parenting moment. But there's this hour, right now - and you can be amazing at it.
Empathy Is Not Optional
When you tell your child to 'figure it out' in frustration, you're not teaching independence - you're making a mistake.
Not Yet (Instead of No)
When your toddler wants something they can't have right now, 'not yet' is magic - 'no' triggers a fight.
It's Just a Feeling
90% of your child's meltdowns aren't caused by what you think - they're caused by feelings they don't know how to handle.
This Is What Getting Better Feels Like
When your child is struggling and frustrated, don't rescue them - teach them the mantra that changes everything.
Trees Bend in the Wind
Protecting your child from all adversity doesn't make them stronger - it makes them brittle.
PM Your Parenting
The best PMs are often the worst PMs of their careers - and many parents make the same mistake with parenting.
The Pre-Mortem
Before the birthday party, the playdate, the first day of school - imagine it's already failed. Now ask: what went wrong?
High Agency Parenting
The parents who thrive aren't the ones with perfect circumstances - they're the ones who refuse to wait for perfect circumstances.
Be the Willow Tree
Your child needs a parent who is steady AND flexible - rigid strength shatters, flexible strength bends and survives.
Every Strength Is a Weakness
Your child's annoying trait might be their greatest strength in disguise - and vice versa.
Feedback Is a Leaf
Feedback isn't judgment - it's someone telling you there's a leaf stuck to the back of your head.
Give Away Your Legos
The hardest thing about watching your child grow up is handing over the things you used to do for them - but that's exactly the point.
Meet Your Monster
When your child's big emotions take over, teach them to externalize the monster - 'That's Bob talking, not you.'
Snorkel Before You Scuba
Before you decide your child is the problem, check if the situation is the problem.
The Same Vocabulary
Half of your arguments with your child might be because you're using the same words to mean different things.
Rewards Ruin Everything
That sticker chart might actually be making your child LESS motivated - here's why rewards backfire.
Make Fun Toys First
Before you build a game, build a toy - and the same applies to building routines for your kids.
A Little Better Every Day
The best parenting advice comes from a CPO returning from paternity leave - and it's absurdly simple.
The Eigenquestion
Before you debate screen time limits, ask the question that answers all your other parenting questions at once.
Practice When Stakes Are Low
Want your kid to handle hard moments well? Let them practice in moments that don't matter.
Golden Rituals
Great families have a small list of rituals that every member knows - they're the culture made visible.
Open to Serendipity
Your child's career won't be linear - teach them to stay curious and be open to the unexpected.
Leaders Are in the Details
Being involved in your child's life isn't helicopter parenting - it's the only way to know if they're actually okay.
Add a Zero
The most important thing you can do for your child is see potential in them they can't yet see in themselves.
Paint Like a Child
Your child isn't trying to see the world like an adult - you should be trying to see it like them.
Rewrites Are a Trap
Before you overhaul your child's bedtime routine, remember: you probably don't understand what the current one actually does.
Get to Mastery First
Don't rush your child into the next developmental phase - they need time to really own the one they're in.
Focused Hours Beat Long Hours
An hour of truly present time with your kid beats a whole distracted day - but only if you actually focus.
Small Decisions Compound
Plane crashes happen through 17 small bad decisions, not one big one - and so does falling out of rhythm with your kid.
Run Towards Fear
The hard conversation you're avoiding with your child is exactly the one you need to have.
Comfortable With D Minuses
The passing grade for parenting isn't perfection - it's just not catastrophically failing, and that's actually liberating.
Context Is Everything
The same behavior from your child can be wonderful or terrible - it all depends on how you frame the situation.
Better For Who?
Your child doesn't need to be 'better' - they need to be better for someone specific, including themselves.
Put the Pill in the Cheese
The message you're trying to get across to your kid matters less than whether they can swallow it.
Concentric Circles
Your child learns trust in expanding circles - and if you skip one, the whole thing falls apart.
Context Makes the Irrational Rational
When your child does something that makes no sense, you're missing part of the story.
The Struggling Moment
Your child isn't misbehaving - they're struggling. And struggle is where growth actually happens.
The Magic Loop
If you help your child with what they need, they'll help you with what you need - it's just human nature.
One Good Idea Takes Years
Your parenting approach doesn't need to be innovative every day - you just need to keep expressing the same few good ideas.
Delight in Hard to Copy Ways
The moments your kid will remember aren't the ones any parent could give - they're the ones only you can.
Kill the Two Percenters
That parenting hack that only works 2% of the time? Stop spending energy on it.
Build Your Parenting Board
You shouldn't be figuring out this parenting thing alone - you need your own board of directors.
Latency Beats Velocity
Parenting isn't about doing more things faster - it's about how quickly you can learn from what you try.
Selective Micromanagement
Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do for your kid is get way more involved, not less.
Treat Them Like Adults
The more you shield your child from hard things, the less capable they become of handling hard things.
Reality Is Never Wrong
When your child's behavior doesn't match your expectations, your expectations are wrong - not your child.
The Dog and the Rabbit
If you only have one goal and you catch it, you'll stop running - children need multiple things worth chasing.
Shadows of Superpowers
Your child's greatest strength is creating their biggest blind spot - and you might not see it because you're so proud of that strength.
What's the Most Impactful Thing?
Stop asking what you feel like doing with your kid today - ask what would actually matter most.
The Second Shot
The guy who built Google Maps first built something that flopped - and his boss gave him another chance.
Answer First, Then Explain
When your kid asks 'When can we go to the park?' and you start with 'Well, first we need to...' - you've already lost them.
Trust Is the Currency
You earn your child's trust the same way you earn anyone's trust: by repeatedly setting and meeting expectations.
Everyone's an Imposter
The woman who ran design for Facebook felt like a fraud every single week for seven years - and that's exactly what your toddler needs to hear someday.
Ask for Help
She thought faking it would get her through - until she learned that asking for help was the actual skill that mattered.
Tigers, Paper Tigers, and Elephants
A PM discovered that naming your fears with animal categories makes the scary stuff way less scary - and it works just as well at bedtime.
High Agency Kids
The trait that predicts PM success more than IQ isn't something you're born with - and you can start building it in a three-year-old.
Say the Thing You Cannot Say
Stripe's COO discovered that the conversations nobody wants to have are the exact conversations that need to happen - and that starts at the dinner table.
It's Probably You
When nobody knows who's supposed to make the decision, a Stripe executive has a rule: assume it's you.
Courage Is the Rare Thing
Shopify's founder says he's found plenty of genius in his career, but the actually rare thing is something you can teach a four-year-old.
Maximum Potential
A billionaire CEO believes there's not a single person on Earth operating at their full potential - and that includes your toddler.
Problems, Not Features
The difference between a great product team and a mediocre one is exactly like the difference between teaching a kid to think and teaching them to follow instructions.
Thirty Customers First
Before a PM could make any decisions, his boss made him visit 30 customers first - and that number might also apply to playdate observations.
Crazy Big Goals
Canva's founder says the best goals make you feel completely inadequate - and that's exactly the right bar for teaching kids to dream.
The Embarrassing First Step
Canva's CEO admits the first step toward any big goal feels embarrassing - and normalizing that feeling might be the most important thing you teach your kid.
The Reward Trap
Stanford researchers proved that rewards cut motivation in half - and sticker charts might be doing more harm than good.
Toys Before Games
The best games are built from toys first - and that's exactly how to think about setting up play for kids.
Ruinous Empathy
The most common leadership mistake is being too nice - and it might be the most common parenting mistake too.
Ask for the Criticism
The secret to getting honest feedback from your team - or your kids - is having a go-to question you've practiced in the mirror.
Fear Gives Bad Advice
An executive coach who works with CEOs of OpenAI, Coinbase, and Reddit says fear is usually pointing you in exactly the wrong direction.
Anger Covers Pain
A coach learned that his anger wasn't the real problem - it was covering something else, and understanding this changed how he parents.
Make Them Feel Heard
The technique for making someone truly feel heard isn't just repeating their words - it's reflecting back what you imagine they're actually thinking.
The Power of Serendipity
One of tech's most successful operators got his big break by wandering the office at 6pm and stumbling into a side project - a lesson in how curiosity creates opportunity.
The Feature Factory
A DoorDash executive says the biggest mistake in product development is dictating features instead of presenting problems - and the same applies to parenting.
Good Taste Is Prediction
Seth Godin defines good taste as knowing what other people want just before they do - and that's exactly the skill you're building when you anticipate your toddler's meltdown.
Quality Means Meeting Spec
Seth Godin says quality isn't perfection - it's meeting spec, and if you don't think the spec is good enough, make a better spec.
Worth Remarking About
The real test of whether you're doing something special isn't how you feel about it - it's whether other people can't help but talk about it.
How Have I Been Complicit?
One of the most famous executive coaches in the world has a question that cuts through every frustration: How have I been complicit in creating the conditions I say I don't want?
The Unsorted Baggage
Bruce Springsteen spent 25 years in psychoanalysis - and his insight about 'unsorted baggage' explains why your childhood patterns keep showing up in your parenting.
Teams Inherit Your Dysfunction
A leadership coach says the reason your team isn't working isn't lack of talent or strategy - it's that teams become manifestations of the leader's unsorted baggage.
Wise and Curious
At 52, Chip Conley joined Airbnb as the 'Modern Elder' - and discovered the secret to thriving at any age: being both wise and curious at the same time.
The Midlife Chrysalis
Chip Conley says midlife isn't a crisis - it's a chrysalis, and the same metaphor explains what your toddler goes through every few months.
The Anxiety Equation
A hospitality legend turned his emotions into algebra, and his anxiety equation explains exactly why your kid's uncertainty creates meltdowns.
The 15% Rule
A Stanford professor's rule for building trust also works for getting your kid to open up: step just 15% outside your comfort zone.
Stay On Your Side of the Net
The secret to giving feedback without making people defensive? A Stanford professor says stick to the two realities you actually know.
Another Opportunity for Growth
A Stanford professor has an acronym for when things go wrong: AFOG - Another Fucking Opportunity for Growth.
Delight in Hard to Copy Ways
Netflix's product strategy boils down to one phrase, and it might be the best framework for memorable parenting moments too.
Give Away Your Legos
An operator who worked at Google, Facebook, and Quip says the key to growing your career is the opposite of what feels natural: give away the things you're best at.
Jump Off the Cliff
Chamath drew a picture on a whiteboard that changed how an operator thought about her whole career - and it explains why safe choices often aren't.
Culture Is the Founder's Personality
After working at Google, Facebook, and multiple startups, an operator discovered that 80% of company culture comes from one surprising place.
Struggling Moments Create Demand
The co-creator of Jobs to Be Done says the biggest product myth is 'build it and they will come' - and the same myth trips up parents every day.
Context Makes the Irrational Rational
A Jobs to Be Done expert says when someone's behavior seems irrational, you don't have the whole story - and this explains why your kid's meltdowns actually make perfect sense.
Bitchin' Ain't Switchin'
A product researcher has a phrase for customers who complain but never change - and it explains why your kid saying they hate something doesn't mean what you think.
The Champion Persona
A positioning expert says most companies obsess over the wrong personas - and parents make the same mistake thinking about who their kid is becoming.
Best in the World for Someone
The world's most experienced positioning consultant says the goal isn't being best in general - it's being best in the world for a specific type of person.
Cultural Erogenous Zones
A comms expert says trying to change what someone cares about is nearly impossible - but connecting your message to what they already care about is almost effortless.
Mistakes of Commission
A comms strategist says when you do nothing, you're letting your biggest enemy win by default - and parents make this mistake constantly.
Pressure Equals Force Over Area
A physics equation explains why spreading yourself across everything makes you ineffective - and why focusing on one thing makes you powerful.
Markets as Currents
A Benchmark investor says the best markets aren't bodies of water to swim in - they're currents that pull you forward, and the same applies to your child's interests.
The Curiosity Loop
Before making a big parenting decision, try doing what product marketers do: run a lightweight survey with five trusted friends who actually know your kid.
Twelve Exposures to Broccoli
Researchers say kids need 10-12 exposures before they develop a taste for something new - which is exactly how you should think about your own growth areas too.
Don't Be The Frog
The frog doesn't notice the water getting hotter one degree at a time - and neither will you when bedtime creep has turned 7pm into 9:30.
The Inner Scorecard
Warren Buffett distinguishes between how the world evaluates you and how you evaluate yourself - which is exactly the tension between raising an 'impressive' kid versus a happy one.
Explore Mode
Early in your career you should be in explore mode, testing hypotheses about what you like - and your toddler is running the exact same algorithm with significantly more mess.
The Only 100% Feature
Onboarding is the only part of your product that 100% of users will ever touch - and your child's morning routine is the only part of parenting that happens every single day without exception.
Brand Is Promise, Product Is Delivery
Your brand is the promise you make; your product is the delivery of that promise - and your parenting 'brand' is what you say you'll do, while bedtime is where you actually deliver.
Peak Motivation Window
Users are most motivated to jump through hoops during onboarding - and your toddler is most willing to cooperate in the exact moment they ask for something.
Opinionated Defaults
The best products make it easy to do the right thing and hard to do the wrong thing - which is why the fruit bowl should be on the counter and the cookies should be on the top shelf.
Redesign Only With New Insights
Don't redesign your onboarding for redesign's sake - and don't overhaul your bedtime routine just because you're bored with it.
Time Is the Scarcest Resource
When evaluating a job, you're investing something even scarcer than money - your time - and the same math applies to how you spend your parenting hours.
Yes, And... Your Toddler
In improv, the worst thing you can do is deny your scene partner - and the same is true when your three-year-old insists there's a dragon in the living room.
The Gift of Details
In improv, specific details give your scene partner something to build on - which is why 'we're going to the place' triggers anxiety but 'we're going to get ice cream at the shop with the blue chairs' does not.
Product Market Fit Expires
When the market changes, assume you no longer have product market fit - and when your kid turns three, assume whatever worked at two is now completely obsolete.
The Adaptability Signal
When a high performer starts saying 'why are we wasting our time on this,' it's usually burnout - and when you start saying 'because I said so' to every question, you might need to check in with yourself.
Ten Exposures to New
A growth marketer says new channels rarely work on the first try - maybe 5% of the time - which is the exact success rate of getting your toddler to eat something unfamiliar.
Algorithms Need Judgment
Tech utopians think you can feed all data to an algorithm and it will do the right thing - which is exactly how it feels when you try to parent entirely from a book.
The Marginal User is Your Toddler
Growth teams focus on the 'marginal user' - the person just on the cusp of success - and your parenting marginal user is whatever's currently the hardest part of your day.
The Dampening Function
A good PM buffers the team from both excessive hype and excessive doom - which is also your job when your kid comes home either on top of the world or convinced it's ending.
Take Off Your Shoes First
A product leader says the hardest part of empathy isn't getting into someone else's shoes - it's taking your own off first.
No Silver Bullets
A growth leader says there are no silver bullets in product - just many lead bullets fired consistently - which is also the only strategy for getting a toddler to eat vegetables.
Hope For The Future
When delivering bad news to an employee, always include hope for the future - which is exactly what you should do when telling your toddler they can't have a cookie right now.
Your Job Is Not To Make Them Happy
An executive coach says your job isn't to make employees happy - it's to create the conditions for winning - which is the same uncomfortable truth about raising children.
Observable Facts Only
An executive coach says to give feedback using 'observable facts' not judgments - which is the difference between 'you're being mean' and 'I saw you push your sister.'
The Pause Button
When feedback triggers defensiveness, an executive coach says to pause and acknowledge the temperature change - which works identically when your toddler starts melting down.
The Crystal Clear Standard
Before firing someone, an executive coach asks: 'Have you been crystal clear about what you need?' - and if the answer is 'sort of,' the answer is no.
Avocado Toast Culture
A startup tried so hard to make employees happy with avocado toast and socials that they forgot to actually define what success looked like - which is the parenting equivalent of endless treats and no boundaries.
Fascinating
When someone says something you profoundly disagree with, responding 'Fascinating, tell me more' is the most disarming thing you can do - and it works identically when your toddler announces they're never wearing pants again.
Toddler Soccer
When every team chases the same metric, you get what a CPO calls 'toddler soccer' - everyone running to the same spot, tripping over each other, nobody touching the ball.
The Dinosaur Brain
A CPO tells her team: assume executives have a tiny dinosaur brain that can only hold three facts at a time - which is also the maximum processing capacity of your toddler.
The Coat of the Job
Before accepting a job, put on the 'coat' of the role - imagine what you'd think about on your commute, who you'd have lunch with - and this is the same exercise you should do before committing to a new parenting approach.
Working From The Bathroom
A CPO reveals she works from her bathroom because with three kids and two remote-working parents, it had the most closing doors - and that's the level of 'figured out' you should expect from anyone.
Execution Eats Strategy
A product leader says 'execution eats strategy for breakfast' - customers don't care about your fancy plans, they care about what's in their hands - just like your kid doesn't care about your parenting philosophy, they care about whether you showed up for bedtime.
Baby Weights First
A serial entrepreneur says first-time founders shouldn't try to 'deadlift 300 pounds on day one' - and first-time parents shouldn't try to implement a perfect sleep schedule, feeding regimen, and developmental program simultaneously.
There Are Only People Problems
A holding company CEO's partner says 'there are no problems, there are only people problems' - which means most of your parenting struggles aren't about the schedule or the food or the routine, they're about the relationship.
The Anxiety Loop Doesn't Stop
A billionaire says the anxiety loop in his head didn't go away when he got rich - it was the same loop at $20 million and $300 million - which is why getting the routine 'perfect' won't make parenting feel perfect either.
You Can't Change Them
A serial acquirer says he's never been able to change an employee into what he needed them to be - and you probably can't change your toddler into a different kid either.
Easy Choices, Hard Life
A billionaire's favorite motto is 'easy choices, hard life - hard choices, easy life' - which is why giving in to the tantrum now creates harder tantrums later.
Lazy Leadership
A CEO calls himself a 'lazy leader' whose goal is to get away from things he hates as fast as possible - which is a surprisingly healthy approach to the parts of parenting that drain you.
When The Fundamentals Break
A growth leader says that when an animal's core behaviors - diet, sleep, play, socialization - get disrupted, it's a flashing red alarm that something is wrong, and the same is true for your kid.
The Frog In The Pot
A VP of Growth describes realizing he was 'the frog boiling in the pot' - not noticing how bad things were getting because it happened slowly - which is exactly how sleep deprivation and parenting overwhelm creep up on you.
Adaptations Gone Awry
A leader explains that childhood adaptations that once saved us can later destroy us - which is why the parenting approach that worked at six months might be actively harmful at three years.
Your Path To Bangkok
A Thai farmer told a burned-out tech leader: 'Everyone's trying to make it to Bangkok - the problem is they're following someone else's road' - which is why the parenting book that worked for your friend might be useless for you.
Mummy Mode
Whitewater rafting guides teach that if you fall overboard, stop fighting the current and go into 'mummy mode' - which is surprisingly good advice for the hardest moments of parenting.
Just Say Thank You
A boss once told a struggling employee: 'When someone gives you a compliment, just say thank you and accept it' - which is also how you should receive your child's love.
Open The Door First
Calendly's CPO reveals the secret to sending a scheduling link without it feeling like a power move: 'Open the door for the person to share their availability first' - which is exactly how you get a toddler to cooperate with anything.
The Power of No
A CPO says her biggest unlock was getting crystal clear on exactly three customer personas - because 'the ability to say no is going to allow you to build something amazing for the people that matter, not something average for everyone.'
Don't Build What Each Customer Wants
A product leader learned early that if she just built what each customer asked for, she'd waste effort AND hurt the user experience - which is what happens when you try to parent based on every piece of advice you get.
Commit To The Phase You're In
A CPO describes her planning process: 'We can commit to a discovery effort, but we don't know yet if we're going to move forward - that's a body of work we can commit to' - which is exactly how to think about trying a new parenting approach.
Talk Me Through Your Biggest Flop
A CPO's favorite interview question is 'Talk me through your biggest product flop' - and the rawer and more honest the answer, the better - which is exactly the energy you want when another parent asks for advice.
The 5PM Rule
A CPO knows that 5-6pm is her worst time of day, so she never schedules difficult work then - and that's the same window when most toddler meltdowns happen, which maybe isn't a coincidence.
Make A Decision
A product leader's parting advice was 'It's not about making the right decision - it's about making the decision' because you learn more after committing than you ever could by analyzing.
Feel It First
When receiving hard feedback, a CPO says 'let yourself feel the things you're going to feel, whether that's hours or days - then don't react, get curious' - which is exactly what to do when your kid says 'I hate you.'
Everyone Has Something To Teach
A CPO's life motto is 'everyone has something to teach and everyone has something to learn' - which helps her deal with difficult personalities and combat imposter syndrome at the same time.
Find The Fun
A CPO's number one mindset shift was learning to 'figure out how to have fun in my job, even in the most difficult times' because it changed her from operating from scarcity to operating from abundance.
The Amit Kumar Problem
Your kid says 'my friend did it.' Great. Which of the seventeen people they call 'my friend'?
Don't Block the Exit, Light Up the Return
Instagram learned that making logout harder just frustrated users. Making login easier brought millions back. Same principle applies when your kid storms off to their room.
The Understand Work First
Your kid is crying. You're already offering a snack, suggesting a nap, reaching for the screen. But do you actually know what's wrong?
The Connection Pivot
Early Instagram optimized for celebrity follows. Then they noticed users were posting into silence - because none of their actual friends were following them back.
Adjacent User Theory for Parents
Your child today is not your child in six months - and if you keep parenting for who they were, you'll lose them.
Systems Over Goals
'We should read more together' is a goal. 'After bath, two books, lights out' is a system. Guess which one actually happens.
Decision Science, Not Just Data Collection
You've noticed that screen time before bed makes sleep worse. You've noticed it many times. And yet somehow it's 7pm and they have the iPad.
The Growth Engineer Mindset
You laminated the chore chart. You bought the gold stars. You presented it with ceremony. It's not working. Let it go.
Parenting Is A Team Sport
Your partner handled that meltdown badly. But have you noticed they're amazing at the 5am wake-ups you can't survive?
Fast Forward Three Years
The best interview question isn't 'where do you see yourself?' - it's 'what's different about you in three years?'
Your Six-Year-Old Asking Why
Good PMs ask 'why' as much as a six-year-old. Which, as any parent knows, is A LOT.
The Astronaut Savings Account
Since age 16, Brandon Chu has saved $2,000 a year for a trip to space. He's betting that by 55, the technology will exist. That's some long-term thinking.
The Trust Battery
At Shopify, trust isn't binary - it's a battery that charges or drains based on every interaction.
Throwing Away Six Months
We signed up for soccer. We're finishing the season. Even though they cry before every practice and we all dread Saturdays now.
Decision Importance First
Mac and cheese or chicken nuggets? Blue shirt or red? Some decisions just don't matter. Save your energy for the ones that do.
Battle Scars Make You Calm
After enough 'emergencies' that turned out fine, you learn to save your panic for when it's actually warranted.
Leaders Are In The Details
Brian Chesky distinguishes between micromanagement - telling people exactly what to do - and being in the details, which is just knowing what's happening.
Add A Zero
Chesky's 'add a zero' challenge isn't about pressure. It's about seeing potential your kid doesn't see in themselves yet.
The Longest Study on Happiness
Harvard ran an 85-year study on happiness. The answer was simple: healthy relationships.
Too Busy for People Who Matter
When you're extremely busy, the people who care about you assume you'll reach out when you're ready - but you're too busy to reach out, so nobody connects.
Paint Like A Child
Picasso spent a lifetime trying to paint like a child again. Maybe we spend too much time stamping out the very thing we'll later try to recover.
The 70% Rule
If 100% of what you believe today you still believe in 5 years, you probably haven't learned anything.
Bitchin' Ain't Switchin'
Your kid has declared war on broccoli every single night. They still eat it. They're not switching.
Context Makes The Irrational Rational
When you hear a story that seems crazy, nine times out of ten you just don't have the full context.
The Three Layers of Language
First they give you the pleasant answer. Then they exaggerate. Only then do you get the truth.
D Students Start Because They Don't Know
A students don't start until they know the answer. D students start because they don't know the answer.
A Kick-Ass Half Is Better Than A Half-Ass Whole
QuickBooks has half the features and double the price of its competitors - and wins anyway.
Detoxify The Left-Hand Column
You're thinking 'this is the dumbest thing to cry about.' You can't say that. But you CAN say: 'This seems really hard for you. What's going on?'
Be A Force For Positive Momentum
You've been debating screen time rules for three weeks. Meanwhile, the screens are still happening. Just pick something.
Be An Explorer, Not A Lecturer
Too many managers think their job is to be the expert and tell people what to do. Too many parents think the same thing.
Stability Through Ritual
In chaotic environments, stability comes from ritual and common practices - not from everything going smoothly.
The Values Exercise
Pick 10 values that matter. Then 5. Then 3. What you can't let go of reveals who you really are.
Parenting Isn't War
You 'pick battles' and 'fight for bedtime' and 'win' arguments with your teen. But your kid isn't the enemy. Maybe we could chill on the military language.
Appetites, Not Estimates
'How long will it take to get ready?' expands infinitely. 'We're leaving in 20 minutes regardless' is fixed. Completely different dynamic.
Stay Ups, Not Startups
Starting a new bedtime routine takes one inspired weekend. Staying with it through month three? That's the actual work.
What Do You Feel?
At 37signals, the most common question in product reviews is 'how does this feel?' We ask kids 'what happened' but rarely 'how did that feel?'
Small Is A Destination
You're always rushing to the next stage. But what if three years old isn't a stepping stone? What if it's a destination worth dwelling in?
Mosquito Effectiveness
If you think you're too small to be effective, you've never been in bed with a mosquito.
Ideas Are 10% Of The Work
'We should do family dinners' takes ten minutes to decide. Getting everyone to the table while someone needs to pee and someone hates this food? That's the other 90%.
The Disease Of Process People
Kid misbehaves? Make a chart. Mornings chaotic? Add a timer. Problem persists? Make a bigger chart. At some point, the charts are the problem.
Find All The Reasons They Won't
You introduced a new rule and you're looking for signs it's working. Try the opposite: look for where it breaks down.
Coaching Is The #1 Thing
Google, Microsoft, Apple, Netflix - they all now say the #1 thing they look for in leaders is that they're a good coach. Parenting IS coaching.
Scared Companies Stop Innovating
You found something that works - the routine, the approach, the bribe. Now you're terrified to change anything. But the kid has changed. You have to change too.
The Family Pre-Mortem
Before the road trip: imagine it's an hour in and everyone's screaming. What went wrong? Didn't bring snacks. Forgot the tablet charger. Left at naptime.
The LNO Framework For Parents
You agonize over the birthday party favors like they're quarterly strategy. Meanwhile, the actual bedtime conversation got three minutes.
High Agency Parenting
'We can't do family dinner because schedules are crazy.' Or: 'Schedules are crazy so we do breakfast together instead.' Same facts. Different agency.
Is This The Best Use Of Our Time?
'Soccer is good for them.' 'Piano builds discipline.' 'This playdate is positive.' Sure. But is it the BEST thing we could be doing with that time?
The Cave You Fear
That conversation you've been avoiding - about death, about bodies, about why Mommy and Daddy fight? That's the cave. The treasure is on the other side.
Three Levels of Parenting
You're arguing about the iPad at dinner. Your partner is arguing about connection and development. You're both right - you're just on different levels.
Start Right Before The Bear
Your kid checked out after 'remember when we were at the store...' Just tell them what you need. Start at the bear.
The State Change Method
Your lecture about responsibility is three minutes in. Their eyes glazed over at minute one. You need a state change.
Watch For Eyes Lighting Up
'How was school?' 'Fine.' But mention the class pet and suddenly they're animated. That's data. That's what they actually care about.
The Super Specific How
You've explained WHY hitting is bad. You've covered WHAT happened. But have you told them HOW - what exactly to do instead?
Don't Surprise Me (Unless It's A Snack)
In work contexts, surprises are generally not great. Unless you're surprising me by bringing me a snack.
Vitamins, Not Medicine
A new bedtime routine won't fix a house where nobody's sleeping - it'll just reveal why nobody's sleeping.
Tomorrow Never Comes
Your kid will do their homework tomorrow. You'll start consistent bedtimes tomorrow. Tomorrow is the most popular day that never arrives.
Friday Wins
When's the last time you celebrated a parenting win instead of just cataloging everything that went wrong?
Make New Mistakes
The goal isn't to stop making parenting mistakes. It's to stop making the same ones on repeat.
Quality, Features, Deadline
You can have a fun family outing that's well-planned and stress-free. Pick two.
Intuition Is Just Hypotheses
That parenting instinct telling you something's wrong? Great. Now test it before you panic.
Their Advice Is Really For Them
When another parent gives you unsolicited advice, they're not actually talking to you.
Keep Simple Things Simple
Your bedtime routine doesn't need fifteen steps. It needs three that you'll actually do.
Every Tap Is a Miracle
You have approximately three seconds of your toddler's attention before they're on to the next thing. Use them wisely.
You'll Know When It's Working
If you're wondering whether your parenting approach is working, it's not.
The Distortive Process
When your kid is being a nightmare, they're trying to get something legitimate through the worst possible method.
They'll Tell You What's Wrong
Put live chat in your parenting - also known as 'actually listening when they complain.'
Lazy, Vain, and Selfish
In the first 30 seconds of any new activity, your kid is exactly like a new app user: lazy, vain, and selfish.
Optimize for Better Problems
Don't try to solve all your parenting challenges at once. Some problems are actually signs of progress.
The Killing Spree
Every rule you remove is a rule you don't have to enforce at 7:47 PM when everyone's exhausted.
Shoulder to Shoulder
You don't understand your kid by scheduling quality time. You understand them by being present in their regular time.
Check the Wiring First
Before you implement that perfect bedtime routine, check if the fundamentals are actually in place.
Ten Pounds in a Five Pound Bag
Your kid's schedule is not a Mary Poppins bag. You cannot fit infinite activities into finite time.
See the End From the Beginning
Don't start a consequence you can't finish. Your toddler can smell an idle threat from across the room.
You Can't Just Cut Scope
Promising your kid a trip to the zoo and then 'pivoting' to the backyard is not scope management. It's betrayal.
Do Is Better Than Show
Explaining to your kid how to tie their shoes while they watch is nice. Handing them the laces and guiding their hands is better.
The Messy Middle of Parenting
Beginning and end are the easy parts. It's the infinite middle where everything gets weird.
Freedom Without Data
Giving your kid independence without paying attention is not empowerment. It's abandonment with extra steps.
Time to Value
Your kid needs to see the point within the first few minutes, or you've lost them.
Fighting Entropy at Home
The second law of thermodynamics explains why your house looks like that by Friday.
Passably Okay Is Still Okay
You could become a passably okay crafts parent. The question is: do you want to spend years of your life doing that?
Talent Is Just the Slope
Your kid might learn piano slower than their friend. Doesn't mean they can't learn piano.
One In, One Out
Every new family rule you add should require removing an old one. Otherwise you're just accumulating complexity.
Worse First, Then Better
Sleep training night one is going to be horrible. That's not a sign you're doing it wrong - that's a sign you're doing it.
Choose Your Suffering
Parenting is suffering. The question isn't whether you'll suffer - it's whether you'll suffer for something that matters.
Stop Clearing the Obstacles
You know those parents who remove every obstacle from their kid's path? Don't be those parents.
You Are Enough Already
The most important parenting realization isn't a technique. It's knowing that you are enough.
The Parenting Mask
Your kid needs to see you confident, even when you're internally Googling 'is this normal behavior' for the third time today.
Family Momentum
When bedtime is working, everything works. When it's not, nothing does. Momentum is reflexive.
Parenting Experiments
Don't call it your new parenting philosophy. Call it an experiment. The bar for experiments is way lower.
Stop Talking Like a Robot
Your kid can smell a scripted lecture from across the room. Talk like a human.
The Delta 4 Rule
If your new parenting approach isn't at least four points better than what you were doing before, you're going to slide right back.
More Tools Isn't More Better
Buying another parenting book doesn't make you a better parent. Sometimes the app-free, screen-free, gadget-free approach just works better.
Bad Behavior Is Short-Term Thinking
Almost every parenting mistake you make is because you're optimizing for the next five minutes instead of the next five years.
Status for the Risk-Takers
In some cultures, the explorers get buried next to royalty. What status do you give your kid when they try something hard and fail?
A-Side and B-Side Parenting
Instagram shows your A-side. Reality is mostly B-side. Both are your actual life.
They're Not Listening to All That
People skim. Your kid DEFINITELY skims. That beautiful explanation you just gave? They caught maybe the first three words.
Is It Actually Valuable?
Your parenting approach either provides real value to your kid, or it doesn't. Retention tells you which.
Communication Isn't Talking
Communication isn't what you say. It's what your kid actually receives, understands, and remembers.