Driving the Getaway Car

Jerry Colonna's question that stops leaders cold: "How have I been complicit in creating the conditions I say I don't want?"

Complicit doesn't mean responsible. You're the getaway driver, not the bank robber. But you're not innocent either.

You say you don't want bedtime battles every night. But do you secretly enjoy the extra cuddles that come from giving in? You say you want your toddler to be more independent. But do you feel a little unneeded when they don't ask for help?

You say you want them to eat vegetables, but somehow there are always chicken nuggets in the freezer. Funny how that works.

This isn't about guilt. Jerry is clear on that. The purpose of the question is to evoke your own agency - to see the ways you might be deluding yourself about what you actually want versus what you're unconsciously reinforcing.

When you notice you've been driving the getaway car, you can choose to park it somewhere else.