Name the Problem, Not the Fix
Inspired by on Lenny's Podcast
When your child is struggling, the words 'why don't you just...' are almost always wrong.
Julie Zhuo's number one rule for giving design feedback: focus on identifying the problem, not proposing solutions. Because when we jump straight to "Why don't you make it purple?" or "Put step two before step three," we skip the most important part - do we even agree on what's wrong?
Parents do this constantly. Your kid is upset about something at school. Before they've finished the first sentence, you're already saying: "Why don't you just talk to the teacher?" "Why don't you just ignore them?" "Why don't you just..."
You're solving a problem you don't understand yet. And worse - you're taking away their power to solve it themselves.
Julie's approach: help them understand and articulate what the problem actually is. Ask questions. Get specific. "What part felt bad? When did it start feeling that way?" Once everyone is aligned on the real problem, better solutions emerge - often from the person who knows the situation best.
Your child is the expert on their own experience. You're the consultant. Consultants who jump to solutions before diagnosis don't get called back.
PM Theme: Discovery over assumptions
Parenting Theme: Supporting problem-solving
“The most important feedback I would say is focus on identifying the problem and making it really clear for the other person... sometimes we're all solvers and builders, and so, you often can very much get into like, 'Wait a second. I see the problem. But instead of talking about the problem, I'm just going to give you a solution.'”Julie Zhuo · 00:54:52
“Help them understand what you think the problem is with whatever it is they are proposing. Give examples. Show them where you're getting stuck... when everyone is aligned on the problem, then we can all collectively come up with better solutions.”Julie Zhuo · 00:56:00
