The Pinch Before the Crunch
Inspired by on Lenny's Podcast
That tiny thing your kid does that barely bothers you? Address it now, or watch it become the thing that makes you lose your mind at 6pm on a Tuesday.
Carole Robin teaches a concept she calls 'pinches and crunches.' A pinch is that small, mildly irritating thing someone does. It's barely worth mentioning. So you don't mention it.
But here's the problem: if you don't mention it, what happens? They do it again. And again. And again. Each time, you get a little more activated. The pinch becomes a crunch - the explosive moment where you completely overreact to something objectively small.
This is every parenting meltdown ever. Your kid leaves their shoes in the hallway. You say nothing. Day after day. And then one random Tuesday, you absolutely lose it over shoes. Your kid is bewildered. It's just shoes. But for you, it's 47 days of shoes.
The fix? Address the pinch while it's still small. 'Hey, when shoes are in the hallway, I trip on them and it makes me frustrated. Can we find a spot for them?' Said calmly on day one, this is a non-event. Said on day 47, you're the crazy person screaming about footwear.
Talk about pinches before they become crunches. Your future self will thank you.
PM Theme: Giving and receiving feedback
Parenting Theme: Setting loving boundaries
“We hold mental models about expressing what we call pinches, which are just those little things that people do. Then we're just like, eh, I'm not going to make a big deal out of it... If I'm doing something that's mildly irritating and you don't tell me, then what am I going to do?”Carole Robin · 00:41:29
“Address it while it's still small and then it won't get big. That's why we call it talk about a pinch before it becomes a crunch.”Carole Robin · 00:42:01
