The Confidant
Inspired by on Lenny's Podcast
In French, a confidant isn't someone who holds your secrets - it's someone who gives you confidence.
Chip Conley was mentoring a 25-year-old at Airbnb when she said something that stopped him cold: 'Chip, you are my confidant.'
He started to make a joke about secrets. But she corrected him: 'No, in my part of France, a confidant is somebody who gives you confidence.'
This is the role we play as parents. Not the keeper of secrets. Not the solver of problems. Not even the teacher of lessons. We're the ones who give our children confidence.
Chip realized this is what great mentorship actually is: helping someone find their own roadmap to success by asking questions, not providing answers. Being curious about their journey rather than directing it.
With kids, this means asking 'What do you think you should do?' before jumping in. It means saying 'I believe you can figure this out' when they're frustrated. It means being genuinely interested in their ideas - even the wild ones - because that interest builds their confidence.
Your job isn't to give them answers. It's to give them the confidence to find their own.
PM Theme: Coaching and mentorship
Parenting Theme: Building confidence
“She said to me, 'No, in my part of France, a confidant is somebody who gives you confidence.' It was like, 'Oh, well, maybe that's what a mentor can be is a confidant, someone who gives you confidence and helps by asking questions, helps you as the younger mentee find your roadmap to success.'”Chip Conley · 00:26:42
