The Anxiety Equation
Inspired by on Lenny's Podcast
Your child's anxiety isn't random - it's math. And you can actually solve it.
Chip Conley created an equation for anxiety: Anxiety = Uncertainty × Powerlessness.
98% of anxiety comes from two sources: what you don't know, and what you can't control. When you're in the grip of free-floating worry, it feels overwhelming. But when you put it into an equation, it becomes something you can actually work with.
This works beautifully for children's anxiety too. Your kid is anxious about starting school. Break it down: What don't they know? Maybe they don't know where the bathroom is, who their teacher will be, whether anyone will sit with them at lunch. What can't they control? Whether kids will be nice, what the work will be like.
Now you have something to work with. You can address the unknowns: visit the school, find the bathroom, meet the teacher. You can expand what they can influence: practice introducing themselves, pack their favorite snack for comfort.
You can't eliminate uncertainty or powerlessness entirely. But reducing either one reduces anxiety. Create an anxiety balance sheet with your child: What do we know? What don't we know? What can we control? What can't we?
Anxiety that feels like everything becomes something you can actually address together.
PM Theme: Dealing with ambiguity and uncertainty
Parenting Theme: Managing fears and anxiety
“98% of anxiety comes from two sources. One is what you don't know, and number two is what you can't control or influence... When you take free-floating anxiety and put it into an equation, it actually makes it more tangible, and you often are less anxious as a result.”Chip Conley · 01:12:32
