This Is What Getting Better Feels Like

Nir Eyal has written two bestselling books. Thousands of articles. And here's his confession: writing is never easy. Every single word is hard. The constant refrain in his head is always 'let me just do anything but the actual work.'

So he created a mantra. When that frustrated, avoidant, uncomfortable feeling rises up, he takes a deep breath and says: 'This is what it feels like to get better. This is what it feels like to get better.'

Not 'I should push through.' Not 'Stop being lazy.' Just a simple reframe: this discomfort? It's the feeling of growth.

Your child is struggling with something hard. They want to quit. They're frustrated. They're about to melt down. Before you rescue them or let them quit, try this: 'I know this feels hard. This is what getting better feels like.'

You're not minimizing their struggle. You're naming it accurately. Discomfort during learning isn't a sign something's wrong - it's a sign something's working. The frustration isn't the obstacle to growth. It IS the growth.

This is what it feels like to get better. What a gift to teach a child.