Feedback Is a Leaf

Julie Zhuo reframes feedback in the simplest possible way: it's like having a leaf stuck to the back of your head. You can't see it. You don't know it's there. Someone else has to tell you.

That's it. That's all feedback is. Someone reflecting back something you can't see yourself.

'Hey, you have a leaf.' 'Oh, thanks!' You don't get defensive. You don't argue. You just appreciate the information and deal with it.

Kids need this reframe desperately. So do adults.

We treat feedback like it's judgment, criticism, an attack on who we are. But feedback is just data about how we're showing up in the world - data we literally cannot get any other way. We're all walking around with blind spots, leaves we can't see.

Julie says feedback should be a daily practice, not a twice-a-year performance review. It's how you get better quickly versus slowly.

Teach your child early: when someone gives you feedback, they're doing you a favor. They're taking the time to tell you about your leaf. The correct response is 'thank you' - even if you decide later you don't want to remove that particular leaf. They gave you a gift: they helped you see what you couldn't see on your own.