The Magic Loop

Ethan Evans, a former Amazon VP, developed something he calls 'The Magic Loop' for advancing your career. The insight is surprisingly simple: help your manager with their problems, and they'll help you with yours.

'Managers help those who help them. It's just human nature.'

The loop goes like this: First, do your current job well. Then ask how you can help. Then actually do what they ask. Then - and this is key - go back and say, 'I'd like to meet my goal. Is there something you need that would also help me get there?'

This isn't manipulation. It's alignment.

The same loop works with kids.

First, be present. Actually show up. Then ask what they need. 'What would make bedtime feel better?' Then do it - even if it's not what you planned. Then comes the magic: 'I really want to help you, and I also need you to help me by...'

Evans says: 'If you say, what can I do to help, and they tell you, and then you're like, oh, I didn't mean that... you dig a big hole.'

You have to be willing to help with what they actually need - not what you want to offer. That's what builds the trust that makes cooperation flow.