Reality Is Never Wrong

Will Larson is a big proponent of systems thinking - building mental models to understand how things work. But he has a crucial warning: don't fall in love with your model.

'A lot of the least successful but smartest people I've worked with were really strong systems thinking advocates... they find a spot where their system and reality are in conflict and they'll be like, reality is wrong.'

Reality is never wrong. Your model is always wrong when it conflicts with reality.

This is parenting wisdom hiding in engineering clothes.

You have a model of how your child 'should' behave. They're not behaving that way. The temptation is to think something is wrong with them, or wrong with the situation, or they're just being difficult.

But what if your model is just wrong?

Larson says the interesting part is the gap between expectation and reality. 'That conflict, that gap is really interesting and that's where you can learn.'

When your toddler does something completely baffling, don't dismiss it as irrational. Get curious about what context you're missing. What is true about their experience that would make this behavior make sense?

Update your model. Reality already voted.