Shadows of Superpowers

Nikhyl Singhal learned this concept from his therapist: shadows of superpowers.

'Everyone focuses on your superpowers, but no one ever thinks about what shadows they create.'

Here's how it works: Great collaborators sometimes can't be decisive. Amazing storytellers struggle to get into details. People who are politically skilled might make unprincipled decisions. 'You're a structured thinker, but blue-sky innovations are very tough.'

The superpower and the shadow are connected. One creates the other.

Your independent four-year-old who does everything herself? She might struggle to ask for help when she actually needs it. Your social butterfly? He might fall apart when he has to be alone. Your rule-follower? She might freeze when there's no clear rule to follow.

And here's the trap: because these are their strengths, they'll resist any feedback about the shadow. 'That's not who I am,' they'll say. 'That's what makes me good.'

Nikhyl says this is exactly when people get stuck. 'That's why you're stuck. That's why your career is plateauing.'

The same applies to children. Don't just celebrate the superpower. Gently illuminate the shadow it casts.