Answer First, Then Explain
Inspired by on Lenny's Podcast
When your kid asks 'When can we go to the park?' and you start with 'Well, first we need to...' - you've already lost them.
Ian McAllister was a new product manager at Microsoft. His boss asked a simple question: 'When is this going to ship?'
Ian's response? He gave background. Context. Explanations of what was taking longer than expected. A lot of words.
But no date.
His boss gave him feedback he never forgot: that's not really what he was asking for. He was waiting for a date.
'Answer and then explain, or sometimes answer and then shut up.'
This is parenting gold.
When your kid asks 'Can I have a snack?' and you launch into why dinner is in thirty minutes and they just had a snack an hour ago and remember yesterday when...
Just say 'No, dinner's soon.' Or 'Yes.'
When they ask 'When are we leaving?' don't start with traffic conditions and shoe-finding logistics. Just say 'Ten minutes.'
Ian built this into a communication principle: 'If you're asked a question, answer it first. Then explain if needed.'
Kids tune out explanations that come before answers. So do adults. Lead with the answer. Everything else is optional.
PM Theme: Clear communication
Parenting Theme: Talking so kids will listen
“I think he asked me, 'When is this going to ship?' And I was like, 'Well, this thing is taking a little bit longer here and this other thing...' And I gave a bunch of background, but I didn't really answer the question.”Ian McAllister · 00:15:53
“Answer and then explain, or sometimes answer and then shut up.”Ian McAllister · 00:22:39
