Ask for Help
Inspired by on Lenny's Podcast
She thought faking it would get her through - until she learned that asking for help was the actual skill that mattered.
Early in her career, Julie Zhuo had a strategy for dealing with hard things: hold it all in. Don't let anyone see you struggle.
'I used to actually just try and hold it all in. I was like, Hey, I better fake it until I make it. If everyone thinks that maybe I'm coming to a table like I know it, then I can fool them.'
It didn't work. She was just preventing herself from getting the support she needed.
'One of the things I learned is it's okay to ask for help. It's okay to reach out to people who may be going through the same things you're going through or maybe are a step or two ahead of you in the journey.'
Watch a two-year-old struggle with a puzzle. Their instinct is to push through alone, to get frustrated, to give up. The skill we need to teach isn't perseverance - it's knowing when to say 'Can you help me?'
Asking for help isn't weakness. It's the actual skill that gets you through.
PM Theme: Building support networks
Parenting Theme: Teaching kids to ask for help
“I used to actually just try and hold it all in. I was like, 'Hey, I better fake it until I make it. If everyone thinks that maybe I'm coming to a table like I know it, then I can fool them.' And now I realize I was really just preventing myself from being able to get that support and that empathy and that camaraderie and that advice that would've helped me actually grow faster.”Julie Zhuo · 00:12:24
“One of the things I learned is it's okay to ask for help.”Julie Zhuo · 00:13:09
