Tigers, Paper Tigers, and Elephants

Shreyas Doshi created a system for his teams to talk about what could go wrong. He gave scary things three animal names.

Tigers are real threats. These will actually hurt you. The monster under the bed that's actually just a pile of laundry is not a tiger.

Paper Tigers are things that seem scary but aren't. 'A seeming threat that others might be worried about, but you're not worried about.' The loud thunder that sounds terrifying but can't actually get you.

Elephants are the things nobody's talking about. The thing in the room that everyone's thinking but no one will say.

Here's the magic: once you name it, it loses power.

'The shared vocabulary that you get about being able to talk about things that will fail' - that's what transforms anxiety into something manageable.

When your child is scared, don't dismiss it. Ask: Is this a tiger, a paper tiger, or an elephant? Make it a game. Let them categorize their fears. Suddenly they're in control of the scary thing instead of the other way around.