How Have I Been Complicit?

Jerry Colonna has coached some of the most successful founders in tech. His most famous question isn't about strategy or execution. It's about self-awareness.

'How have I been complicit in creating the conditions I say I don't want?'

Complicit, not responsible. You're driving the getaway car, not robbing the bank.

'A perfect example would be: I say I don't want to feel busy all the time, but the truth is I feel really unnerved and disconcerted if my agenda isn't jam-packed.'

Apply this to parenting. You say you don't want bedtime battles, but you keep engaging in negotiations. You say you don't want screen time fights, but you use screens as the default pacifier.

The question isn't about blame. It's about agency. 'The purpose of this question is actually to evoke your own agency, to look at the ways in which you may have been deluding yourself.'

The conditions you hate? You may be helping create them. And that means you can help change them.