The Midlife Chrysalis
Inspired by on Lenny's Podcast
Chip Conley says midlife isn't a crisis - it's a chrysalis, and the same metaphor explains what your toddler goes through every few months.
We call it the 'terrible twos' or the 'threenager' phase. We treat it like a crisis. Chip Conley has a better frame.
'If you think about the caterpillar to butterfly journey, midlife is the chrysalis. It's that cocoon in which all of the change is happening.'
In the chrysalis, everything is liquefying. It looks like destruction. But it's actually transformation.
'At the time, when you're going through it, it's like, oh, shit, my life is liquefying in front of myself. On the other side of it, there's a metamorphosis that happens.'
Your toddler's meltdowns aren't a crisis. They're a chrysalis. Their brain is reorganizing. Their sense of self is dissolving and reforming. It feels like chaos because it is - but it's productive chaos.
The job isn't to prevent the chrysalis. The job is to provide the container while the transformation happens.
Midlife crisis. Toddler crisis. Teenager crisis. Maybe they're all just chrysalis moments.
PM Theme: Managing through change
Parenting Theme: Developmental stages
“If you think about the caterpillar to butterfly journey, midlife is the chrysalis. It's that cocoon in which all of the change is happening.”Chip Conley · 01:04:27
“At the time, when you're going through it, it's like, oh shit, my life is liquefying in front of myself. On the other side of it, there's a metamorphosis that happens.”Chip Conley · 01:04:48
