There Are Only People Problems
Inspired by on Lenny's Podcast
A holding company CEO's partner says 'there are no problems, there are only people problems' - which means most of your parenting struggles aren't about the schedule or the food or the routine, they're about the relationship.
Andrew Wilkinson's business partner, Chris, has a quote they live by.
'There are no problems. There is only people problems. You could tell us that there's a disaster, that one of our business units is about to fail. As long as I'm surrounded by really great smart people, I feel fine.'
In parenting, we fixate on systems. The schedule isn't working. The routine is off. The food isn't right.
But usually? It's not the schedule. It's the relationship underneath. Is the connection secure? Does your kid feel seen? Are you actually present or just executing the routine?
'When we have a bad actor, when we have a psycho or a narcissist or a really horrible difficult person, all bets are off and life becomes incredibly stressful.'
The stressor isn't the bedtime routine. It's the disconnection that happened earlier in the day. Fix the relationship, and the routine often fixes itself.
PM Theme: People over process
Parenting Theme: Connection before correction
“There are no problems. There is only people problems. You could tell us that there's a disaster, that one of our business units is about to fail. As long as I'm surrounded by really great smart people, I feel fine.”Andrew Wilkinson · 00:37:15
