The Longest Study on Happiness

Brian Chesky reflects on the Harvard study on human happiness - 85 years of research, one answer: 'The secret to happiness, if there is one, is healthy relationships.' He found that during his busiest years as a founder, he'd become totally isolated. Every time he reached out to an old friend, he had to get them 'up to speed' on his life. If you have to do that, you're not really keeping in touch.

As parents, we obsess over our kids' achievement, their activities, their academic performance. But if 85 years of research says healthy relationships are the key to happiness, maybe we should be tracking different metrics. How many real friendships does your child have? Do they have people they can be vulnerable with? Are they learning to maintain relationships over time?

Chesky's fix was simple: group chats with old friends, regular trips together, actually keeping in touch. For your kids, it might be: encourage the playdates, prioritize the birthday parties, let them call their grandparents.

Relationships aren't a distraction from what matters. They ARE what matters.