Be An Explorer, Not A Lecturer

Claire Hughes Johnson has a framework: be an explorer, not a lecturer. 'Too many people think your job as the manager is to be the expert and tell people what to do. No, actually, your job is to enable people to be their very damn best.'

This is a paradigm shift for parenting. Your job isn't to lecture your child into good behavior. It's to help them discover their own path to it.

Instead of 'Here's exactly what you should do,' try 'How did that feel for you? What do you think you could try differently?' Instead of 'Let me tell you what you did wrong,' explore: 'I noticed something. Did you notice it too?'

Claire describes it as 'being curious, saying I have seen this pattern of your work. Have you seen this pattern?' With kids: 'I've noticed you seem upset after playdates with Marcus. Have you noticed that?'

You're holding up a mirror and standing beside them, not above them. You're exploring together. Most of the time, they already know what they need to do. Your job is to help them see it themselves.