Parenting Isn't War
Inspired by on Lenny's Podcast
You 'pick battles' and 'fight for bedtime' and 'win' arguments with your teen. But your kid isn't the enemy. Maybe we could chill on the military language.
Jason Fried catalogues how business talks like war: 'They conquer the market. They capture mindshare. They target customers. They destroy the competition. They pick battles and they make a killing.' He finds it depressing - and suggests it shapes how we experience work.
Parents talk the same way. We 'pick our battles.' We 'fight' for bedtime. We're in a 'power struggle' with our toddler. We 'win' or 'lose' arguments with our teens. We need to 'establish dominance.'
But your kid isn't the enemy. The tantrum isn't an attack. Bedtime isn't a battle - it's a transition.
Jason asks: 'You're making B2B accounting software. Let's just chill for a second here.' We could ask ourselves: 'You're getting a three-year-old into pajamas. Let's maybe not treat this like a military operation?'
The words we use shape how we experience the moment. 'Battle' creates stress. 'Routine' creates calm. Same situation, different framing, different experience.
PM Theme: Culture / language
Parenting Theme: Reframing conflict with kids
“They conquer the market. They capture mindshare. They target customers. They employ a sales force. They hire head hunters. They destroy the competition. They pick battles and they make a killing. That's how people talk about business. I find that to be depressing.”Jason Fried · 01:10:10
“You're making B2B accounting software. Let's just chill for a second here, okay?”Jason Fried · 01:10:42
