Don't Surprise Me (Unless It's A Snack)
Inspired by on Lenny's Podcast
In work contexts, surprises are generally not great. Unless you're surprising me by bringing me a snack.
Wes Kao has a rule: 'Unless you're surprising me by bringing me a snack or something, don't surprise me.' In work, surprises mean something went wrong - an unexpected problem, a deadline missed, a crisis nobody saw coming.
Kids need the same principle - in reverse. They should rarely be surprised by what's happening. The bedtime routine should be predictable. Leaving the playground should be announced in advance. Transitions should be telegraphed.
When kids are surprised, they lose control. They didn't have time to prepare. They couldn't mentally transition. Their world suddenly shifted without warning.
'Proactively giving the right amount of context' matters just as much with kids as it does with a manager. 'In five minutes we're going to clean up.' 'After one more show, it's bathtime.' 'This weekend we're going to Grandma's.'
No surprises. Unless it's a snack. Or a trip to the ice cream store. Those surprises are allowed.
PM Theme: Managing up / communication
Parenting Theme: Creating predictability for children
“In the work context, surprises are generally not great. So I always say, unless you're surprising me by bringing me a snack or something, don't surprise me.”Wes Kao · 35:27
“Not throwing something over to your manager that just catches them off guard is good.”Wes Kao · 35:27
