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Their Advice Is Really For Them

Dylan Field

Inspired by on Lenny's Podcast

When another parent gives you unsolicited advice, they're not actually talking to you.

Dylan Field drops a truth bomb disguised as career advice: "When people give you advice, they're not giving you advice, they're giving themselves advice in your shoes."

That parent at pickup lecturing you about screen time? They're wrestling with screen time. The one with strong opinions about sleep training? They're processing their own choices. The grandparent insisting you're being too strict or too lenient? They're relitigating decisions they made thirty years ago.

This isn't cynical - it's freeing. You can listen to advice without feeling judged, because it was never really about you. Take what's useful, leave the rest.

It also means YOUR advice to other parents is really advice to yourself. So maybe... give less of it? And when you do give it, be honest: "Here's what worked for me, in my situation, with my kid." That's the most useful kind anyway.

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Quotes that inspired this tip
One piece of advice I've always appreciated is when people give you advice, they're not giving you advice, they're giving themselves advice in your shoes.Dylan Field · 00:45:22
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