See the End From the Beginning

Ryan Singer on the Shape Up principle: "We are not going to start something unless we can see the end from the beginning."

This is the parenting equivalent of: don't threaten a timeout you're not prepared to enforce. Don't say "we're leaving" unless you're actually going to pick up and leave. Don't start the bedtime routine at 8:30 when you know it takes an hour and they need to be asleep by 8:45.

If you can't see the end from the beginning - if you don't know exactly how this discipline attempt is going to land, if you haven't thought through the follow-through - don't start.

The worst parenting cycles come from starting things we can't finish. We make a threat, can't execute, lose credibility, make a bigger threat next time, still can't execute, and now we're in a trust deficit.

Before you open your mouth: Can I see how this ends? Do I know I can get there? If not, say something else. Or nothing at all.