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Do Is Better Than Show

Hila Qu

Inspired by on Lenny's Podcast

Explaining to your kid how to tie their shoes while they watch is nice. Handing them the laces and guiding their hands is better.

Hila Qu shares a hierarchy for onboarding users: "Do is better than show is better than tell."

You can tell your kid how to put on their jacket a hundred times. You can show them how to do it while they watch. Or you can guide their hands through the motions until their muscles remember.

We default to telling because it's easiest for us. "Put your shoes by the door." "Brush your teeth for two minutes." "Be nice to your sister." Words, words, words.

Showing is harder - it takes time. But doing together? That's where learning actually happens. You're removing the friction between instruction and experience.

This applies to everything from teaching emotional regulation (breathe WITH them, not at them) to morning routines (walk through it together until it's automatic) to homework habits (sit alongside, not across the room calling out instructions).

Telling is for your convenience. Doing is for their learning.

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PM Theme: Activation and onboarding

Parenting Theme: Teaching through doing

Quotes that inspired this tip
I usually think about do is better than show is better than tell, meaning you want to remove all the frictions and somehow give them a warm start, give them some sample template, give them some sample thing they can play with initially in that very moment already.Hila Qu · 00:47:42
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