Stop Clearing the Obstacles

Graham Weaver, who lives in Marin and sees this constantly: "Watch how people parent. They parent exactly the opposite of that. You and I both live in Marin... When you get kids in school in Marin, you see parents, they try to clear all obstacles away from their kids. It's the worst thing you could do."

He's referencing Dr. Becky's advice that your job isn't to make your kids happy - it's to make them resilient.

But let's be honest: clearing obstacles feels good. It feels like helping. It feels like protecting. Every time you remove a struggle, you get that little dopamine hit of being a good parent.

Except you're not building a good life. You're building a kid who doesn't know how to handle obstacles.

The hard part is sitting with their struggle. Watching them fail at the puzzle. Letting them experience disappointment. Not fixing the friend drama.

Your discomfort in watching them struggle is the price of their resilience. And their resilience is worth more than your comfort.